battoon

"Friends Only" sticky post

Back in May 2007, I made a decision to render the majority of my posts Friends Only. It is not my intention to make my journal an exclusive club but rather to provide a small amount of control over who is able to read entries, comment, and respond to others' comments.

Although I tend to select friends based upon shared interests, experiences, and viewpoints, there is still a fair amount of diversity among the members of my friends list. Many people on my friends list, like me, have disabilities related to mental health, cognitive ability, and social functioning. If you wish to be added, I ask that you keep discussions and disagreements respectful.

Please comment to be added.
battoon

is this thing still on?

I've decided to try returning to LiveJournal.

I'm setting up new friendslist filters. Please let me know if you actively want me to read your journal on a regular basis. I'm not going to de-friend anyone, but anyone not on my main reading filter is probably not going to be checked up on more than once a month or so.
battoon

Writer's Block: Deaf Awareness [public entry]

In conjunction with Deaf Awareness Month, discuss some famous deaf people who have helped to make history. If you're hearing impaired yourself, give us a sense of what your experience is like, so we can better appreciate it.


I think it's important for people to be aware that not every auditory disability is about hearing acuity, just as not every visual disability is related to the eyes.

I have low vision, and better than average hearing acuity. Despite popular myths, my hearing acuity has nothing to do with my vision loss, it's always been like that. What most people fail to realize is just how much of a role the brain plays in hearing and seeing.

For most people, interpreting what they see or hear is automatic. They generally don't have to actively think about it, and they assume that it's the same for everyone else. However, people whose brains differ from the norm, such as in dyslexia, central auditory processing disorders, autism, or traumatic brain injury, may process things differently or with greater difficulty. These differences are often perceived as laziness, stupidity, or deception, which is enormously frustrating for everyone involved.

As I stated before, I have fairly good hearing in the sense of acuity, but my ability to filter and interpret what I hear is much worse than average. Despite lifelong effort, I find it very difficult to tune out background noise. It is also difficult to explain to people that certain sound, even if they are not particularly loud, can cause me extreme discomfort. Most people are familiar with the "fingernails on a blackboard" phenomenon, but I experience that effect with a much wider range of noises, including high-pitched noises that most people my age and older can't hear any more.

While I can hear and speak, I find it difficult to effectively *communicate* what I think and what I know using speech. I am much more effective at communicating using writing. This is partly a function of time, and partly a function of hearing. Let me try to explain what it's like for me to have a spoken conversation.

I might hear all of the words, but in my mind they get jumbled up and out of order, and I have to put them back in the right order in my head. By the time I've done that, the person with whom I am trying to communicate has probably said something else.

I hear all of the sounds of the words, but they don't separate or congeal into recognizable English words, and it sounds like the person is speaking a foreign language. I have to repeat it back to myself in my head and try to put the gaps and connections in the right places. Tryre ading thiss enten ceand maybe you'll getan ideao fwhat Imean.

Outside/background sounds can interfere with what I'm hearing, and either cover it up or make it hard to concentrate.

And on top of all of that, people usually expect me to speak back to them. When I say something in writing, it's easier for me to think about what I'm saying and review it, and write it out at my own pace. When I'm speaking, each sound disappears nearly as soon as I make it, and I don't always remember what I've said at the beginning of the sentence as I get to the end, so I leave things out, repeat myself, or get things totally scrambled.

If I don't want to talk to you, it's not because I don't like you. On the contrary, it's probably because I *do* like you and want to make sure that I communicate with you in the most effective way possible, which for me is writing.
battoon

Please stop and think--and stop saying it.

[Public post]

I have been meaning to write about this topic for a while, and recent events have given me even more reason to do so.

Please--stop using words like retarded, retard, and *tard as insults. Just stop.

Having a mental disability is hard enough, but the vitriolic hatred of people with mental disabilities is probably worse than the impairment itself. I think it's like that for a lot of disabilities--the pity, contempt, and assumption of incompetence, worthlessness, and even non-human status is frequently more horrible than the worst physical pain and the lack of access to common daily life activities.

Attitudes like these don't cause just emotional suffering--they can lead to violence and murder, and then to sympathy for the murderer for "putting up with" the disabled person.

Maybe this sounds exaggerated and irrational to you. After all, it's just a word, right?

Nigger and cunt are "just words", too. Do you use these words as casual ribs? Would you talk to or about a friend like that? Do you use those words around children?

Word reclamation can be empowering (I'm not so sure I like that word, as it gets used and abused, but it's the only one I can come up with at the moment.), but it's the disenfranchised who need that power, not the majority.

When people use these words around me, especially people who are supposed to be my friends, it hurts me. It make me afraid to be around you. Afraid to say anything to you. Afraid to show my true self, because my this is who I really am. Afraid to talk about my struggles and my accomplishments. Afraid to say anything about my friends who have mental disabilities because you might hurt them, too.

I think I've had enough hate and fear in my life. Please don't contribute to it.
battoon

taking a break [public post]

I'm going to be significantly restricting the amount of time I spend on the computer for an indefinite period of time for mental health (depression/burnout/other assorted ickies) and physical health (using a mouse is starting to hurt my hand) reasons.

I will probably only be reading livejournal, message boards and email discussion lists on weekends.

I will be reading email that lands in my regular inboxes (I filter mailing lists I'm on into folders in regular email or auto-archived tags on Gmail) daily but it may take me a while to respond. I will probably not be signed onto any messenger services other than Google Talk (a Jabber client that works with Gmail). Since I won't be at the computer much, I will probably only respond to that sporadically.

You are all very important to me, it's just that I need to take care of myself right now.

Comments disabled because this meant for information purposes, *not* drama whoring.